Wrong Day

It’s a wrong day
Don’t blame the time
Don’t blame the person
or his passion,
Don’t blame the conversation
or the silent,
Don’t blame the music,
not about the lyrics too,
Don’t blame the excuses
or the simple gratitude
It’s just a wrong day

I’m stuck, I’m trapped
in the soul of negativity
everything is either messed up
or just plain tangled

Somebody once said, they’ll fix it
but they never showed up
Maybe they completely forgot
or they come at the right day
This is not right, this is the wrong day

 You realize
Trying best is not the option anymore
Positive mood is just a bunch of crappy words
Calm down? It’s like saying
“take a sleeping pill, aspirin or something and mix it whiskey”
It’s a wrong day
Nothing ever seems right,
not after today.

– mumbled by me on 210214 @ Lhokseumawe

Keep Calm and …

I just want to see you, know that you’re fine, see that you’re okay. That’s all. 

Menunggu seperti suatu hal yang sudah biasa, tanpa paksaan, tanpa kata maaf, seperti tak beralasan. Menunggumu, salah satunya. Duduk diam di keheningan malam, beralaskan lantai kotak yang sudah menguning, ditemani oleh kebulan asap dari mulutku. Untuk kesekian kalinya, aku memikirkanmu. Kali ini, aku terima. Aku terima segala yang disajikan oleh pikiranku. Penolakan untuk tidak memikirkanmu seakan memudar seiring waktu.

Apa yang kutunggu? Kedatanganmu? Ceritamu? Pertanyaan-pertanyaan khawatir yang sering kamu sisipkan di setiap candaan? atau hanya kamu?

Aku sedang menerka-nerka semuanya. Jangan kamu bilang aku terlihat santai dengan pikiranku, kepalaku seperti ombak lautan yang bercumbu dengan angin kencang. Tidak ada kata tenang. Kecuali yang keluar dari mulutku.

Suatu saat nanti, akan aku bilang semuanya kepadamu.

Aku baik-baik saja, aku terlihat baik-baik saja, aku mungkin akan baik-baik saja.

Tapi pikiranku pernah tidak baik-baik saja saat memikirkanmu.

Let’s Talk, Dear Friend

Let’s Talk, Dear Friend … and forget, for a moment, who we were.

Mute Expressions


Let’s talk my friend, you and I,
Let’s meet over a couple o’ beers,
Let’s find ourselves again, in the middle of the crowd,
and forget, for a moment, who we were
Let’s talk of yesterday, let’s talk of tomorrow,
Let’s talk of the times of the great sorrow,
Let’s talk of adventures on the highway,
Let’s just forget about what happens of today
Let’s talk of love and all the women we could never date
Let’s talk of the bloody time that would never wait
Let’s talk of this world, about things big and small,
Let’s figure out, where we went wrong; when did we build this wall?
Let’s talk of things we’ve done and the thing’s we’ll do,
Things that’ll go past me and you,
Things of old and things of new
Things of which we never knew.
Time will come  and time will go,
What becomes of…

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He would be 61 today
I would be walking side by side with him in the cold morning
with our running shoes on and our jacket intact up to the neck
He would tell me to keep up with him
as I slowly fade away to the beautiful scenery

He would have a new dream
I would listen and start to imagine what it would be like when these dreams come true
with my hopes held high and my mind start to dream the same thing
I would tell him that,
I would tell him that my dream is next to him
and he would laugh about it, at first
but I know he would be ecstatic

He would start to complain about his wrinkles
I would take a closer look and found none
and tell him that it was just his smile lines and his worries about nothing but his children and sweetheart
He would tell me not to make him smile no more
I know he would be smiling inside
all day long

He would say love over and over again
if I knew then, I would say love all over him
as if he knew that there couldn’t be enough time to say it much
if I knew then, I would give all my time to him
just to hear him say love
and love again

He would be 61 today
and I was and still am his proud little girl



– written for my Dad’s 61 birthday, 28 November 2013.


Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

by Mary Elizabeth Frye


This is a letter to a stranger. 


You can call me Love. I was born in a small town called L. I used to think that my town was so big. I could get lost easily. I was scared to go out, even in the afternoon, because once, a goat was chasing me. Don’t laugh, it still hurts my small pride. When I was about 10, I could ride a bicycle. My mom said I could ride it only near my house. But I was curious to see other places. 

You know what they said “A curiosity killed a cat”? I was a cat. I roam around my neighborhood, searching for unusual places, looking for unfamiliar faces, asking for secret locations. I can’t stop, I can not be stopped. Even when I had no friend to share on this adventure, I said to myself, “I will find my friend on the way there”.

I believe that life is not about the destination, it’s the journey itself. How one step can make me to take another step and lead me to nowhere. I know where to go, but I don’t know what I would find on my way there, who do I meet when I ask for directions and should I trust them or my should I follow my instinct? 

If you ask me “Love, what are you trying to say?” then my answer is “This is what I’ve been doing for the last couple of years in my life.” I played around, I went to unfamiliar places, looking for stranger faces and enjoying the things I’ve had, I’ve seen. I can not wait to tell you this. I wanted to share all of these stories, all of my journey.

I know you are my destination, but it would take some time to get me there. 

Can I call you Wait? 


Back to Stranger

We were staring at each other
Too busy arguing with our minds
The question asked
And answered
that’s probably the end of our conversation

But no one stand up and dare to say goodbye
Not me and I don’t see you making any moves
So what are we doing here

I see no point of trying
But even God enjoy our last meal together
He didn’t cut the strings yet
maybe He’s brokenhearted too

I know I can’t say anything to make this situation be better
The words stuck in my head and won’t get out
My hands are too numb to write it either

You are special, there I said it
My best friend told me not to hold anything
Say what I want to say
So I said it

You have the best of me, there I said it
This time I’m hiding from your eyes
So I can say what I want to say
So I said it

Nobody hold my heart the way you do
And now you want to return it
I don’t want it back
Keep it
Keep it
So we won’t be back to stranger

A Simple Life Lesson from Swimming

venerdi handoyo

Our parents made me and my four elder siblings learned how to swim when I was seven. Being an athlete himself, father understood that swimming should start as early as possible. While my eldest sister back then was already eighteen, I was lucky enough to be the youngest. Proven; my three-years older brother and I were the quickest ones to learn.

“Kids have less fear of drowning than adults do,” our swimming instructor said.

People have been talking about “following your passion” and “leaving your comfort zone”. Youngsters are being motivated to “pursue their dreams” with a lot of theories and wisecracks. But, my swimming instructor said it best.

Go for it when you’re a fresh grad. Go for it when you’re still at school. You youngsters have less fears than we thirtysomethings do. We have built our own comfort zone, and we do not have enough guts to leave…

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The Little Things In Life

Those little things in life… 🙂

Mute Expressions


Photo Source: http://stephaniekeltner.wordpress.com/2012/08/06/the-little-things/

A smile from a stranger
A pat on the back
Your song on the radio
A late-night ice cream snack

A quiet eve on the porch
A text from an old friend
An unexpected adventure
The first poem you penned

A smile from your crush
A good day at work
Cycling down a hill slope
Discovery of the lost sock

Your favorite for dinner
Hot coffee in the rain
The first snow on your head
Your first journey in a train

These little things in life
come and pass us by
take a break, pause for a while
these moments let us enjoy

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