Spijt

Say here, how do you talk about regrets? or Spijt in Dutch.

Regrets: a negative conscious and emotional reaction to personal past acts and behaviors

Time pasts. Action done. Words out. There is nothing you can do. Or is there?

Regret haunts. It doesn’t kill. Just painting your whole heart smoothly day by day until it turns black and it was all you could think of. Then you die. Because of a black heart, not the regret itself.

I mean, how many of you live in regrets and actually get over it? Big or small, it doesn’t matter. the size somehow will expand when it haunts you.

I asked my friends about their biggest regret. Here are their answers and my understanding or more to like my inner-deep-soul interpretation:

1. Not finishing schools

Kids, please. Every adults or grown up will tell you this “School is important!” It is. Believe me. Just believe it. You don’t? 

OK, I didn’t believe it also. The teachers were sometimes annoying, classmates were boring and thick books should not be published!

And I regret that. Some of us who skipped classes or worse, quitting schools or colleges, the future is cruel. THE FUTURE IS CRUEL! (just had to make it more dramatic here by saying the sentence twice..!) Hang in there!! 

2. Not getting any younger

Who is???? WHO IS? except Benjamin Button. 

3. Knowing counter strike and addicted to it. so very addicted.

I feel you brother. Addiction is a crime.

4. Moving out from the house.

I wish TIME IS MOVING BACKWARD too!!! Now, nothing feels like home. 

5. Never save money.

Maybe still not enough left to save some. maybe…

6. Wasting money.

yeah, well.. wasting is bad. very bad. except for food. Only God knows that eating expensive and delicious food is not a waste of money. 

7. Knowing that guy.

Which one? The one before? or after? or both? or that one-night-stand guy? Oh, you name it. We, girls always regret about saying hello if we end up saying “bye”. Eventually, it will cure. Yes, broken hearts can be cured!

8. Taking that taxi

we all took a wrong turn, somehow. somewhere. and we tried to go back. but the road wasn’t the same like it used to. People change, so does the path. 

9. Throwing up

throwing up some bad words, saying bad things. a lot things happened if you don’t know when to shut your mouth. 

10. Buying ice cream instead of cigarettes.

Yeah, I know. Those long nights and windy weather and your soul will scream “Why did you end up buying ice cream!!!!”

10. a. Buying ice cream and actually eating it.

NO REGRETS ABOUT EATING IT. NEVER. 

and the list continues… randomly. I just want to know if anyone don’t have any regrets in their life. But everyone does. and for some… just unnecessary regrets. I mean, why would you regret over throwing up? And their blunt answer was “because I feel disgusted afterward”, well, would you rather swallow it? And who would regret over ice cream? Apparently, my friend was. She was supposed to be on diet. Oh well…

But it make me think that as I grew older, my regrets, haunting, depression and black hearts become bigger. When we were little or younger, our regrets were just some silly stuffs like not going to that kid’s birthday party and feeling jealous over giveaways which I didn’t get. Or something like yelling at my parents and then ask for food, ice cream or cookies later on. Oh Wait, I didn’t feel regret back then about that. I was young and still cute and I think every kid needs unconditional attention.

And as I grew older or mature, I started to realize that those economics, business, geography classes were important. Not to get an A, but at least to know what colleagues were talking about or something like how the hell did LOMBOK moves to the right side of BALI? I thought it was in the middle of Java Island and Bali Island. See, I just knew this kind of stuffs. I wish I read more of thick books and not just novels. But I don’t regret novel-reading. It is the pleasure of my empty soul.

Anyway, my question is : How Do You Cure Regrets?

while waiting for your answer… maybe I just need to read this word over and over again..

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